Discomfort and pain during (first) sexual intercourse

Painful sexual intercourse can have a number of different causes, physical and psychological in nature, and causes can range from bacterial infections to certain fears. 

The first sexual intercourse is often not the experience as the one we see in movies or with what we envision as an act full of love with the person we love. It is often quite the opposite of idyllic expectations and can be uncomfortable and painful.

The thing is, it is not talked about, so we cannot even know it. There are several reasons for pain and discomfort. The first is physical in nature – the female body needs more time to relax than the male. In addition, if you constantly expect pleasant feelings, and then do not experience them, then such thoughts burden you and it becomes a vicious circle, which then acts on your psyche. 

It is important that the boy and the girl talk about it a lot and clearly express their feelings to each other. If one of them is not ready for sexual relations, then the other should be told. The understanding we then gain can only strengthen the bond. 

There are cases where girls feel pain not only during the first, but also during the next sexual intercourses. One of the most common reasons for this may be the subconscious fear of pain that the girl felt during the first intercourse and with each subsequent intercourse, and in anticipation of the recurrence of that pain, the vaginal muscles begin to contract, and the pain reappears. Later, during intercourse, these muscles relax, there is no tension and cramping and the pain no longer occurs. The boyfriend can help with his patience and tenderness to relax, but also by making sure that the penetration is not with a complete erection, so that the pain will not occur or will be much less intense. It is nothing dangerous, it cannot hurt the uterus, which is located deeper, but if roughness is applied during sexual intercourse, pain and bleeding from the vagina can occur. With your attention and understanding as a boyfriend, you will help the girl to relax and the pain will completely disappear. 

Another possible cause of pain and discomfort during intercourse may be a subconscious fear of pregnancy.

That is why it is important to check if you are ready for sexual intercourse and if you have decided to engage in it, then take care of contraception in order to reduce the fear of pregnancy as much as possible.