I am very afraid of the first sexual intercourse

Hello, I am very afraid of the first sexual intercourse. I do not know how I will be able to relax. I am not comfortable at all. I just have a mental block. I read that it hurts a lot, is that true? How is protection used? Is it possible for me to get pregnant after the first time? Thank you.

The first sexual intercourse is a big step in the relationship, but also in the life of every young person and that is why it is important to enter into it only when we feel ready. It should be a pleasant and beautiful experience for both partners that will connect you as a couple. If you are afraid, you are not comfortable and as you say, “you have a mental block”, maybe the right time has not yet come for you, and your partner should be able to accept it if he cares about you and your feelings. 

In addition, I see that you still have many questions regarding intercourse. It is quite important before engaging in intercourse to get acquainted with all the risks, protection options and talk openly about it with your partner. If you are embarrassed to talk to him about it, ask yourself if he is a person with whom you are completely relaxed and whom you trust – this is very important for the first, but also in every subsequent intercourse.

You can read more about the first sexual intercourse in this article: https://maloljetni-roditelji.net/info-kutak/363-prvi-spolni-odnos-kako-se-pripremiti-i-sto-ocekivati.

As far as protection is concerned, the offer is very diverse, but for young partners it may be the simplest and most convenient to use a condom that also protects you from sexually transmitted diseases.

You can read more about condoms here: https://maloljetni-roditelji.net/info-kutak/364-mitovi-i-cinjenice-o-kondomima. 

In addition, it would not be bad to visit a gynaecologist before or after intercourse, especially if you decide on another method of protection. The gynaecologist can also explain to you how each method of protection is used.

During the first sexual intercourse, you can get pregnant, and we wrote more about the misconceptions regarding the first intercourse here: https://maloljetni-roditelji.net/info-kutak/353-zablude-i-istine-o-maloljetnickom-seksu.

In general, I would advise you to first consider everything written in the articles and find out about the risks associated with sexual intercourse and ways of protection as well as their use. It is important that you feel safe talking to your partner, especially if he is more experienced, and if necessary, visit a gynaecologist. Furthermore, it is important that you have a generally strong and open relationship with your boyfriend, that you trust him and that it is OK for you to tell him no, it means that you do not agree to intercourse because of him and the fear of him leaving you (Because “everybody else does it”), but because you want to do it with him. 

Therefore, your desire for having sexual intercourse is key. If you want to start having intercourse, a certain level of “nervousness” is normal, but if you feel a crippling fear or any strong unpleasant emotion, it may be better to wait with until the idea of having intercourse becomes more comfortable.