Mobile apps have become a big part of the dating scene among young people. Apps like Tinder, Bumble, Happn, Hinge are mostly based on posting your own pictures and a brief description of yourself on a profile. After that, other users can indicate whether they like your profile or not. When two users indicate that they like each other, they can start communicating. 

Some research shows that a large number of rejections occur in such applications. As many as 50% of those rejected are men. However, research also shows that between 2005 and 2012 one third of couples in America met online. Some research also shows that couples who met online were less likely to break up than couples who did not meet online. 

Related to this, regardless of whether you already have a profile on a dating app or are considering creating it, we bring you a list of advantages and disadvantages of the described apps.

 Advantages of online dating apps:

• YOU ARE SHY – if you are shy by nature and do not feel comfortable talking to new people, you do not like to go to places where you do not know a lot of people, it may be easier for you to start communication in writing 
• YOU HAVE DIFFICULTIES EXPRESSING YOURSELF IN PERSON – you think you do not always represent yourself well when talking to someone in person, when you like someone you find it hard to find words in a conversation with that person, written communication gives you time to think about what you really want to say and express yourself better 
• YOU DO NOT GO OUT OFTEN – you do not have a lot of opportunities to meet new people, so apps allow you to do that 
• YOU CAN DECIDE WHEN AND IF YOU MEET – before you meet someone in person, you can get to know them well online, thus you meet that person when you are (and if) ready for it 
• YOU LIKE TO MEET NEW PEOPLE – you can meet different people from all over the world and it is totally OK to just be friends with them! 
• REJECTION IS LESS PAINFUL – as we noted above, rejection is common in the world of online dating – mostly because it is easier to reject someone online than live. While rejection is always painful, it is a little easier when someone does it online before you have strongly (or even!) connected. On the other hand, when you achieve a strong connection and intimacy with someone, online rejection is much more unacceptable and harder to deal with.

Disadvantages of online dating apps:

• QUESTIONABLE SECURITY – one should be careful when disclosing information about oneself, the Internet is not always a safe place. If you decide to meet someone you have met online, it is best to tell a friend / family member that you are with that person so that someone else can be informed about where you are and whom you are with in case something goes wrong and if it turns out that the person you are meeting is not the same person you communicated with online. It is also good to be in a public place where there are people so that you can ask for help from passers-by in case something happens. 
• QUESTIONABLE TRUTHFULNESS – you can hardly check if the information someone gave you online is true. Therefore, for example, you cannot know based on a picture or a description on a profile if it is really the person you were corresponding with. It is easier for people to lie online because it is difficult to verify the information someone provides and because people are “protected” by not communicating in person. 
• BE YOURSELF AND HONEST – since a lot of people use online apps, people want to stand out as much as possible and exaggerate (or lie) about their virtues, appearance, successes, etc. However, in order to meet people you will like or a partner who will love you for who you are, then it is best to be honest. Try to be as authentic as possible and be yourself in order to attract people who like you for who you are.

AUTHOR: Mia Krpan, dipl.psych.

Caring for a child can be exhausting for parents. Somehow, the moment we become parents, our needs are moved to the back burner and responding to the needs of child becomes more important.

In addition, although children differ in temperament, so some are more or less demanding, the period of entering the world of parenthood is almost universally stressful for all parents. Caring for a child involves adjusting to the child’s sleep rhythm, maintaining hygiene through frequent diaper changes and changing clothes, adjusting to the rhythm of feeding either through breastfeeding or later preparing special meals, responding to the child’s crying for which we often do not know the cause. As children grow older, their needs change, but the need for parents to adapt to children’s needs somehow remains a constant. We may have had difficulties in the first days of parenthood due to sleepless nights and attempts to put the child to sleep, while in another phase we may encounter difficulties in organizing time due to the child’s school obligations and activity schedule. But, what about us?

We can agree that caring for a child is primary and demanding for most parents, but how do you still take care of yourself? How to meet our needs for the interests we had before we became parents, how to provide time for ourselves, shared moments without a child, walking, reading a book, going to the hairdresser or to the cinema? Do we have the right to our own interests and time for ourselves? Am I a bad mother if I need to get away from the baby for an hour and go for a coffee with friends? Although most will agree in principle that parents need time for themselves and their interests, we as a society look at it with disapproval. Countless times I have heard comments and criticisms about a mother who left her child with a father, grandmother or babysitter and went to the hairdresser. At the same time, countless times I have seen mothers with grey cheeks, dissatisfied and exhausted from caring for a child, mothers who do not even think about what they need. Although this is a topic that applies equally to both mothers and fathers, it seems that mothers are still in the focus of the social magnifying glass that assesses whether they are good or not.

I ask myself when and how did it happen that once we become parents, we and our needs are no longer important and is it possible for both parties to be satisfied? Through personal experience but also many years of counselling work, it seems to me that it is possible and that one of the most important things we can do for our children is to be happy and satisfied. Children need happy parents. Often, we only need little things to make us feel better, it is just important to recognize what we need and allow ourselves that moment for ourselves. Most often, these are small pleasures that remind us that we are still important, small moments that are only ours and that do not endanger anyone. Reading a book while the baby sleeps instead of wiping the dust that has accumulated, taking a nap in the afternoon, having coffee with a friend when grandma is visiting, going to recreation or shopping.

It sounds simple and it is actually amazing how hard it is for us to allow ourselves to do something for ourselves. Someone has obviously been thrown for a loop when they convinced us that taking care of ourselves is no longer important when we become parents and started taking care of the child.

By taking care of ourselves, we do not stop taking care of the child. If we take care of ourselves, we will take better care of the child.

AUTHOR: Silvija Stanić, dipl.psih.univ.spec.iur.

Teenager Vita Mayer is horrified to discover that she has become pregnant. She is faced with a difficult choice of what to do. Abortion or keeping the child? In a sea of ​​questions that bother her and to which there are no answers, she feels alone. 

The play “Two Blue Lines” was created with the aim of raising the awareness of young people about the importance and necessity of responsible sexual behaviour in the prevention of underage pregnancies. It premiered on Thursday, September 27th, at the Exit Theatre. In the first season, a total of 30 plays were performed in front of young people from the area of ​​central Croatia, with one guest appearance in Montenegro. 

The play, intended for final grade primary school and secondary school students, parents and educators, and educational workers, openly discusses the issue of underage pregnancies through the story of a teenager Vita, who, after learning she is pregnant, faces a decision that will change her life forever. 

The play was co-produced by the Full House Theatre, the Exit Theatre and the Sisak City Theatre based on motifs from the novel of the same name by Rosie Kugli. The project partners are the Parents’ Association “Step by Step”, the Croatian Society of Writers for Children and Youth and Lelo Hex, and it is co-financed by the Ministry of Culture of the Republic of Croatia, the City Office for Culture of the City of Zagreb, and the City of Sisak. 

After each performance, a conversation is organized with the audience on the topic of responsible sexual behaviour and experiences from one’s own life or environment. The conversation is led by psychologists Silvija Stanić and Iva Buconjić, members of “Step by Step” association with many years of experience working on the prevention of risky sexual behaviour of young people and providing assistance to minors and young parents. 

The play is primarily intended for performance in front of students, and we invite you to share this information with your teachers, professional associates and colleagues and visit the EXIT THEATRE!

Lately, many girls have been contacting us with questions about taking hormonal contraceptives or “pills”.

You want to know whether it is OK to start taking them before or after menstruation has already started, what to do if we failed to take a pill, how to use pills to delay menstruation or do you have another question?

Our gynaecologist in the text that follows answered some of the questions you most frequently asked us! 

Oral hormonal contraception is the safest method of protection against pregnancy. Today’s hormonal contraception has a low hormone content, so it can be taken for years without a break. Today we use it, in addition to protection against pregnancy, as a therapy for hormonal disorders, cosmetic problems, regulation of heavy, prolonged or painful menstruation, etc.

Before taking the pills, a gynaecological examination with a PAP test is performed, if the girl is already sexually active, in addition to laboratory tests, a detailed medical history, information about diseases in the family or disease affecting the girl. A doctor then prescribes and explains in detail how to take hormonal contraceptives. If it is started for the first time, then the pills are taken on the first day of menstruation, so that protection begins immediately after that menstruation. It should be noted in particular that the pills must be taken regularly, at the same time. This is because in case you miss or forget to take a pill, it is important how many hours have passed since taking it regularly (i.e. how late are you for taking a pill) to allow assessment regarding which additional procedures or protection should be applied. Depending on the type of hormonal contraception, the procedures to be used are described in detail in the instructions provided in each package. Some girls, if they forgot to take the pill, use emergency contraception, and then it is recommended to use a barrier protection (a condom) and continue taking regular hormonal contraception.

Today’s low-dose contraception very rarely causes side effects. Sometimes there may be an increased appetite or light vaginal bleeding (spotting) may occur during taking. This bleeding may occur during the first 3 months of taking the pills and will only stop spontaneously, while maintaining protection at all times. With hormonal contraception, menstruation become shorter, scanty, less painful, and sometimes occurs only as a light discharge. There is no need to worry about this, unless one or more pills are forgotten and thus the effectiveness of the protection is reduced. It is very important that the girl reads the detailed instructions about the pills, which can be found in the box. This should be understood as information that will help, so that the girl knows what to do in the case that any changes occur.

If vomiting or diarrhoea occur while taking the pills, then pill adsorption is reduced, and thus the protection. If vomiting occurs within 3-4 hours of taking the pill, then it is necessary to take a replacement pill, preferably within 24 hours. In certain situations, if necessary, menstruation can be delayed with hormonal contraception, most often by consuming one pack and then immediately continuing to take the pills from the other pack, without a break. It is best to consult a gynaecologist, because there are differences, depending on the type of birth control pill, regarding the duration, i.e. the number of placebo pills that should be omitted in the case of delaying menstruation.

AUTHOR: Primarius Nives Šikanić Dugić, MD, spec. gynaecologist, MSc

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What does it mean to be in a quality relationship? Is it a relationship in which the other person gives in to you in everything and is “head over heels in love with you”? Is it a relationship in which you spend all your free time together and make sure you “confess” to each other when you hang out with other people? Do you need to adjust your free time and hobbies to your boyfriend or girlfriend and expect the same from him or her? Is being “a little jealous” and reading messages on her or his cell phone OK? 

Below we bring you 10 signs of a quality relationship – those full of trust, respect, and support for the other person!

10 SIGNS OF QUALITY RELATIONSHIP

• TRUST (You can share your doubts and count on support in good times and bad times) 
• RESPECT (You see each other as equal people with equally important desires and needs)
• RESPECT (You respect the wishes, opinions, and attitudes of the other person)
• SUPPORT (Each person supports the other to do their best) 
• RESPONSIBILITY (You take responsibility for your own actions and do not blame the other person) 
• DECISIONS (You make decisions together, as a couple and try to respect the needs of both persons as much as possible) 
• FEELINGS (You are openly expressing feelings without fear of ridicule and belittling) 
• LISTENING (You actively listen to each other, give yourself time, are attentive and try to understand each other) 
• ENCOURAGEMENT (You encourage your partner’s friendships and interests, sports, hobbies, and similar things outside of your relationship) 
• DIFFERENCES (You accept your differences and do not try to change one another)